Less than an hour and I’ll be 20,
Less than a week ago I was happy and excited
Less than eight months ago I thought that nothing could stand in my way
Less than a year ago I thought I’d never get over him
Less than two years ago I was breaking off an engagement
Less than three years ago I was excited to be a mother
Less than four years ago I wanted to die
Less than five years ago I was trying to run away
Less than a decade ago I was doing hardcore drugs and a full time alcoholic
My life has been hard, I don’t want sympathy and I never have. I just wish that one day in a year the people in my life could just turn around and say “hey, you’re awesome. You’ve been through a lot an you’re still here. You’re an amazing person, and yeah sometimes you give too much but we all love you for it” I wish people would give me back just as much as I give them, everyone always says that they are different that they’ll be there for me. But more and more all I see and all I realise is that people only want me around for as long as I give them money, places to stay, food, smokes, booze, myself etc. I just wish that someone would come into my life and stay, and be there for me just as much as I am there for them.
If anything I just wish that there was someone who didn’t want anything from me, someone who just wanted to be there for me, someone that I could always talk to without there being anything that I owed because all they wanted was to hang out with me and talk to me.
But I know that that will never happen, after a while everyone wants something, after a while everyone starts to fade away, after a while everyone leaves.